Trials in Paradise.

Now the summer has arrived our water problems have trebbled. This town has suffered years of erratic water supplies and I have finally blown my stack. The following is a letter I have just posted to our shire council. I probably won't get a reply but it eases my ire.

For presentation at Council Meeting.
Dear Sir,
Yesterday while in Hughenden I visited your public toilets. Let me congratulate you on the cleanliness of the facilities and the pristine porcelain.
Today I worked hard to catch up on my household chores. I folded washing and put aside a third of the wash to treat for the Torrens Creek Stigmata - that familiar red streaking that identifies our town's inhabitants. Past experience told me it was a useless exercise, but I live in hope. I scrubbed the bath and basin, removed the orange glaze which covered the once white surfaces, then hosed out the residue. Fresh red drops decorate the porcelain surfaces. The old toilet has defeated me - but, hey, the foul water keeps the frogs away.
Next I ran the wash-up water into the sink. I believed that cleanliness is next to godliness, shame that we can't live by that rule here. I don't relish washing my eating utensils in water the colour of strong tea, despite the assurances that it (the water) is fit to drink - sometimes.I won't drink it now, even though we have a filter, the water comes through opaque at best and smells if left in a container for a few hours.
I would like to thank the council for the care you show the citizens of Torrens Creek. You have unified our rather diverse community with this water problem and, at the same time, have stifled our over-zealous attempts to maintain our Good Housekeeping status. The erratic water supply, which we are charged for, leaves stains on all surfaces when wiped, walls, white goods, benches and clothes. Strange how the stain seeks the favourite clothes...This all causes us to pause each time the urge to clean occurs. You are helping us to slow our life style. Unfortunately, my blood pressure keeps rising.
Also, thanks to you, my modesty is intact. In earlier times nuns tought me to sprinkle talc in the bath to cloud the water. Torrens Creek water ensures that I'm safely invisible while bathing. I now use the talc for what it is intended, although the irritants in the water cause me to use twice as much.
I imagine you are all familiar with those television advertisements asking for contributions to help third world countries have access to pure water? Maybe the council should consider applying for a grant to help Torrens Creek obtain the same?
Now, at the end of the day, I am thinking longingly of a cool welcoming bath to relax in. Can you tell me where I can get one?
Yours truly
Frances Mackay